Gone {{{(Don't be alarmed, i'm not suicidal)}}}

Needless to say,
been gone for awhile,
the mind has no pattern,
my face has no smile.

Friends, Passers-by,
drifting so blindly,
failing to see,
this girl, slowly dying.

Everyone's problems,
cared for, upcoming,
but where is the love,
when the neutral friend's crumbling.

Of course you can't see,
I'm one hell of an actress,
But the only ones listening,
my pillow, my mattress.

Of course I would love,
a someone to lean on,
screaming inside,
for a shoulder to cry on.

But you're all too busy,
with "drama", with boyfriends,
what even is that,
do the real things even matter.

Being the middleman,
everyone likes you,
but it never occurs,
that you're a pained human too.

So needless to say,
I've been gone for awhile,
life seems almost pointless,
and certainly futile.